Involuntary Employment

I've noticed that an increasing number of stores now have "Self Checkout" registers. I always thought that part of the reason people go to stores is to have other people help with the little things. It's nice to know that when I need to buy a can of clam chowder at 2:00 in the morning, part of the shopping experience will include actually working at the store. To be fair, I do enjoy waiting for 20 minutes as the elderly person in front of me is forced to use technology for the first time since the Eisenhower administration.

If I have to scan and bag my own groceries, it seems only fair that I be granted access to the break room. If it's possible, I'd also like a name tag. If I'm gonna be working in your store, we might as well be on a first name basis.